


king missile

by CaptainButts



Category: GOT7
Genre: College AU, Gen, M/M, This is like crack, all the pairings are platonic or implied, genuinely, group projects are a bitch 10/10 do not recommend, look at what finals have done to me, theyre all so dumb in this
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-11
Updated: 2016-12-11
Packaged: 2018-09-08 00:02:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,721
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8821600
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CaptainButts/pseuds/CaptainButts
Summary: Jaebum and Jinyoung returned to the study room only to see five crying boys in front of them. Bambam was on his hands and knees, bowing repeatedly to a screaming Mark, who was being held back by Jackson. Yugyeom was shaking underneath the table, cradling his head in his arms as he rocked back and forth. Youngjae was face down, another sticky note on his forehead which read, “He’s dead, I killed him.”  or: They have a group project final that everyone forgot about.





	

**Author's Note:**

> this is a fic exchange for harrison who asked for a funny college au ;o; i hope you like it merry christmas u fool.  
> (title credit goes to stace who recommended i use it)

**8:00 PM T-12 Hours 30 minutes// Jinyoung**

 

Jinyoung was on his laptop, meandering through old photos on his Facebook profile when he saw it. It was a picture of some of his faceless classmates working on a final project, but he couldn’t shake the sense of dread creeping up on him. He quickly grabbed his phone, shooting his group members a text.

**to furry community 8:01 pm**

_Guys, what’s the situation with the group project?_

 

**from furry community 8:02 pm**

**bumboy**

_What project?_

 

**to furry community 8:02 pm**

_Our Anatomy final._

 

**from furry community 8:02 pm**

**boku no jackjack**

_holy shit i forgot about that gg it’s due tomorrow morning lmfao_

 

**from furry community 8:02 pm**

**marktuantrash**

_bambam said he finished it last week_

 

**to furry community 8:02 pm**

_Alright, awesome._

 

Jinyoung let out a sigh of relief, nodding his head as the anxiety was alleviated. It was times like these where he really valued and respected how responsible his friends could be. He thought of all the times his friends had been there to pick him up when he was down⏤the times where they really carried him through difficult times. They were pillars in his life, they gave him strength, but most of all they were his support system. He smiled down at his phone, content and proud to call his group of his long time friends.

 

**from furry community 8:06 pm**

**double bitch**

_wait i didnt finish shit lol wy talking bout tuan lol_

 

Jinyoung’s head nearly split in two. His phone started blowing up with notifications. He took back every single good thing he had ever thought about his so-called friends.

 

**from furry community 8:08 pm**

**marktuantrash**

_tf do you mean you didn’t finish it??_

_you literally messaged me gloating about how you did it all in 20 minutes??_

 

**from furry community 8:08 pm**

**double bitch**

_lmaaooooo that was a completely different class_

_i didn’t even know we had an anatomy project_

_hahahahh rip_

 

**from furry community 8:09 pm**

**yugioh**

_oh my god wh at are we going to do?_

_we have to present it tomorrow morning???_

 

**from furry community 8:09 pm**

**bumboy**

_does anyone even know what the project is on?_

 

**to furry community 8:10 pm**

_Et tu, Brute?_

 

**from furry community 8:10 pm**

**otter**

_we can meet at the library rn it’s open 24/7 for finals week_

 

**to furry community 8:10 pm**

_I genuinely hate all of you._

_I’ll be there in ten._

 

When he got to the library, Jaebum was already there, a cup of hot coffee in one hand with an Anatomy book propped in his lap. He looked up when Jinyoung pulls a chair out and flopped down into it. A small frown tugged at the older’s lips. “Are you alright? You’ve got pretty bad circles under your eyes,” he pointed out, making Jinyoung’s eyebrows crease together.

 

He nodded. “Just a bit tired, I just finished working on my Bio Lab when I found out about this one.”

 

Jaebum’s looked at him with concern. “If you’re too stressed, I don’t mind covering your share of the project⏤”  

 

Jinyoung’s heart swelled at the older’s worry. He smiled, shaking his head as he reached over to pat his best friend on the back. “I’ll be fine, thanks though.”

 

Jaebum opened his mouth to say something, but was interrupted when Bambam bounded into the study room of the library, a pack of energy drinks cradled in one hand, with Yugyeom trailing behind him lugging a giant backpack.

 

“Alright, let’s get this shit going!” Bambam whooped loudly, tossing the six pack of drinks onto the table. He grabbed one for himself, then tossed the other one to Yugyeom, who was sitting next to him, looking like he had just killed a man. Jinyoung gaped at him. If Jaebum thought his bags were bad, Yugyeom’s were _designer_.

 

“You look like a lesser panda,” Jinyoung commented, pulling Yugyeom out of Purgatory, or wherever his soul was about to lay to rest.

 

Yugyeom gave him a grim smile, then used his last bit of energy to tiredly flip him off. Bambam guffawed, his head lulling back.

 

Jaebum passed Yugyeom a sympathetic look, leaning in to speak to the maknae from across the table. “How is he still so energetic?”

 

Yugyeom stared at the eldest with a blank face. “We had three packs of those energy drinks this morning,” he began, “he finished the first two by noon.”

 

Jaebum and Jinyoung nodded their heads understandingly. “Freshmen,” they said in unison.

 

Youngjae, Mark, and Jackson entered the room together, Mark nudging Jackson while stifling a laugh at something their blond friend had said to them.

 

“Did you guys start without us?” Jackson asked, a giant shit-eating grin gracing his face with his hands on his hips.

 

The look he received from the four boys sitting in the study room was enough to wipe it clean off his face. “Sorry I asked.”

 

The three ushered inside, pulling out their books and laptops. Jinyoung began to read the syllabus, searching for the grading rubric for their project frantically.

 

“So the presentation has to be twenty minutes long--” the rest of them groaned as Jinyoung continued to skim through the page with his eyes. “No note cards, no reading off the slides,” he muttered. “Clear enunciation... _Business_ attire--that means no fur coats Bambam (“What! This is a personal attack!)--an eight page paper, and we have to have visuals, and before you say something, Jaebum-hyung, you don’t count.”

 

Jaebum smirked, “I wasn’t going to say anything, but okay.”

 

Jackson let out a noise of indignation, “Uhh, I think you’re forgetting the true visual here.” He pointed at himself, gaining attention from absolutely no one.

 

Jaebum stood up, drawing everyone’s eyes to him. “So, we’ll divide our work to conquer this project as soon as we can.” He pointed toward Youngjae and Jinyoung. “Youngjae, Jinyoung, and I will be responsible for conducting research online for the paper.”

 

He turned toward Mark and Jackson. “Jackson and Mark, get started on the powerpoint presentation, and don’t use comic sans this time, _please_.”

 

Jaebum let out a sigh. “And last, unfortunately, you two…” he turned to look at the two youngest members of their group eyeing him with evident mischief and excitement. The two were practically bouncing in their chairs. “Go to an office or art supply store to get materials for the diorama we’re going to make.”

 

Yugyeom nodded obediently. “What materials do we need?”

 

Jaebum seemed to contemplate this, turning to Jinyoung for assistance. “Let’s figure out what kind of 3D model we want to make before sending them off. We don’t want them to buy every useless thing at Office Depot.”

 

The seven of them sat sat the table, taking nearly an hour to decide what they were going to make, Jaebum attempting to keep their discussions on topic instead of meandering to other topics involving one too many rounds of League. Jaebum banged his fists against the table. “Guys! Focus.” He said, eye narrowing as he eyed the culprits around the table. “Have we decided to do the reproductive system for the diorama?”

 

“I want to make a paper mache dick!” Bambam yelled, bounding out of his seat, reaching out to grab Jaebum’s keys from his pocket. Jaebum swatted his hand away from him, nearly hissing.

 

“Everyone is okay with doing the reproductive system?” His voice nearly cracked as he searched pleadingly for someone--anyone, really--to reject Bambam’s proposal. He looked at Youngjae, who only stifled a laugh, then Jinyoung who shrugged his shoulders as if he were saying, “At this point, it’s useless to go against them.”

 

Jaebum let out a defeated groan, his head and shoulders slumping forward as he reached into his pocket to throw his car keys at the youngest. Yugyeom caught the keys, looking up at the eldest with unsure eyes.

 

Yugyeom’s eyes shined as he stared up at Jaebum. “You want me to...drive, hyung?”

 

“Maknae, I trust you more than that fucking orangutan,” Jaebum nodded at him. “ _Don’t_ let Bambam buy anything stupid.”

 

Yugyeom stood up, a sense of determination sparking within him. Bambam stood up as well, and they saluted their group members, giggling on their way out of the study room.

 

Youngjae grabbed one of the energy drinks lying on the table and cracked it open. “They’re not going to buy anything we ask for, I hope you know that, hyung.”

 

“I know, that’s why I want you to go get the actual materials.”

 

Youngjae narrowed his eyes. “Wha--”

 

Jaebum grabbed his wallet and handed it to Youngjae. “I don’t trust either of those two. Go. We’ll text you the list of things we need.”

 

Jinyoung and Jaebum exchanged looks. Hopefully their dongsaengs wouldn’t fail them.

 

**11:30 PM: T-9 Hours// Mark And Jackson**

 

Jinyoung walked around the table after about an hour of gathering resources online, eyeing Mark and Jackson who were giggling behind their laptop screens. He stretched his limbs, discreetly peering at their screens before he saw what the fuck they were doing.

 

“Are you two on a Skype call?? With each other?” He asked, voice raising incredulously.

 

Jackson and Mark nearly shrieked, bodies stiffening at the sudden heat of Jinyoung’s gaze. “Uh...yeah, but I can explain,” Jackson began.

 

Mark nodded his head vigorously. “We finished the powerpoint.”

 

“Okay, let’s see it,” Jaebum said, nodding at Mark. Mark popped open the powerpoint, application on his computer.

 

“Wait, I swear we actually did it.” His clicking grew frantic as he searched his computer for the document.

 

Jinyoung deadpanned, “Did you save it.”

 

Jackson and Mark froze, looking at each other with wide eyes. “ _Fuck_.”

 

Jinyoung slammed his head against the table and Jaebum let out a sound akin to a sob.

 

**12:30 AM: T-8 Hours// Bambam and Yugyeom**

 

“Bambam,” Yugyeom sighed, “every place we go to is closed. We should just give up and--”

 

“No!” Bambam yelled, slapping a hand over his best friend’s mouth. Yugyeom let out a muffled scream as the car swerved. Bambam was unfazed by the fact that they literally almost drove off the road looking directly at Yugyeom’s panicked face. “Listen to me: I am no fucking quitter. Are you?”

 

Yugyeom whacked Bambam’s hand off his mouth, then gripped the steering wheel until his knuckles were ghost white. “I’m no quitter.” The maknae spat, eyes firm on the road.

 

Bambam seemed satisfied by his response, nodding proudly. “We’ll find a place, I promise. I’m GPS-ing another one right now.”

 

Yugyeom sighed, giving into Bambam’s stubbornness. “Shouldn’t we...like. Y’know, try to find an Office Depot or an art supply store or something? We’ve been looking for a Krispy Kreme for nearly two hours now! The hyungs are probably already close to done with their parts of the project--”

 

“We _need_ donuts to function, maknae. You wouldn’t understand, you’re just a freshman.”

 

“You’re a freshman too though??”

 

Bambam rolled his eyes, “That’s beside the point. Anyway, you’re going to make a sharp left right here, there’s a 24/7 Krispy Kreme in half a mile.”

 

Yugyeom groaned, following his friend’s directions.

 

**1:30 AM: T-7 Hours// Youngjae**

 

It had taken him a lot longer to get to the store since Bambam and Yugyeom took Jaebum’s car. He took the bus right next to their university and accidentally passed his stop twice. When he got to Office Depot, he realized that it was way too late to be open.

But with a bit of luck, he somehow managed to find a store open until 1 am and made it just in time before it closed.

 

Youngjae looked down at the list Jaebum had sent him with worried eyes.

 

_-eggs_

_-milk_

_-binder paper_

_-cornstarch_

 

“Are we actually going with Bambam’s stupid paper mache idea?” he muttered to himself as he looked down at the bag of materials he’d just bought. He texted Jaebum to make sure he was buying the right stuff.

 

**to jaebum-hyung 1:34 am**

_hey hyung, are you positive this is what we need for the 3D model?_

 

**from jaebum-hyung 1:35 am**

_jesus i thought u were dead or something._

_yeah thats all we need._

 

**to jaebum-hyung 1:35 am**

_alright if you say so._

 

Youngjae looked at the bag he was holding. _If hyung said so…_ He shrugged his shoulders and walked back to the bus stop.

 

**2:30 AM T-6 Hours// Jinyoung and Jaebum**

 

Jinyoung typed quickly onto the document with dextrous fingers. Jaebum watched him work in awe. Jinyoung had been hammering away at the paper for nearly two hours, not even looking up when the other three called to him.

 

At one point, Jackson had even thrown a wad of paper that hit Jinyoung’s forehead directly. He didn’t even flinch.

 

Jaebum reached out to him, trying to get him to take a break. Jinyoung’s eyes briefly lifted up to meet his, before going back to the document. “What is it?” He asked.

 

“You should probably take a break. I can take over.”

 

“Please, I’ve read your writing and I was not impressed.”

 

Mark gasped in feigned offense and Jaebum looked as if he’d been slapped in the face. “You told me it was a good paper.”

 

Jinyoung’s fingers froze over his keyboard for a second, _Shit._

 

“Uhh, it was fine for that assignment,” he tried to appease the situation but Jaebum’s mouth was a solid line. Jinyoung deflated, “I’m sorry, I’m just stressed and I want to get an A.”

 

Jaebum softened at this, moving closer to his friend. “We’ll be fine. Just do your best. Most of the points will be focused on the presentation portion anyway, right?” He looked to Mark and Jackson for any sort of affirmation. The two nodded as if they understood what the eldest was saying. “See? It’ll be okay.”

 

Jinyoung sighed as Jaebum moved his computer from him to get started on the second half of the paper. “Wait--” Jaebum’s eyes widened, “you already finished it?”

 

“Yeah, like twenty minutes ago. I’m just proofreading it and checking my sources now.”

 

Jaebum nodded, clearly impressed. “I can edit it and you can check to make sure I’m following the rubric if you want? You really need a break.”

 

Jackson cooed from his spot across the table, earning him two very pointed glares from the duo.

 

**3:30 AM T-5 Hours// Mark and Jackson**

 

“How’s the powerpoint coming along, guys?” Jinyoung asked, looking over his shoulder to stare at Mark and Jackson, both of whom had their faces buried in their work.

 

“We finished it,” Jackson murmured, before he slammed his palms against the table in frustration. “ _Dammit ,_  I almost destroyed the inhibitor.”

 

“Are you two playing _League_?” Both of them froze, and Jinyoung felt the deja vu creeping up on him.

 

Mark glared at Jackson, mouthing something along the lines of _you blew our fucking cover._

 

Jaebum’s face contorted, turning a shade of red. Jackson and Mark shrinked back at the look of anger. “It better actually be done this time.”

 

“We are, we swear and this time we saved--” There was a brief pause before a quick intake of breath. “Oh my God.”

 

Jinyoung knew better than to ask, but he couldn’t resist. “What is it this time?”

 

Mark was silent for a minute, a single tear dripping down his face. “I forgot to save it... again.”

 

“God _dammit_ , Mark.”

 

**3:45 AM T-4 Hours 45 Minutes// Youngjae**

 

“Thank God,” Jaebum said as soon as Youngjae stepped through the door. “Now we can finally get started on the diorama or whatever the hell.”

 

Youngjae rose a brow at him, “I hope you know how to make the paper mache shit, cuhs I have no idea how to with these ingredients.”

 

“Youngjae.” Jaebum furrowed his brows, taking the bag from the younger. “What the fuck is this?” He lifted the milk carton out of the bag and put the eggs on the table.

 

“Uhh, that’s all the stuff you put on the list.” Youngjae looked at him with an annoyed expression, “I literally asked if this list was right like twice, Jaebum-hyung.”

 

“Fuck,” Jaebum blanched, looking through his texts. He’d sent Youngjae his grocery list.

 

Mark and Jackson bit their lips to hold back their laughter. Youngjae broke first, throwing his head back in disbelief. “You mean to tell me I walked three miles when the bus stopped running to get your groceries?”

 

Jaebum looked down at his feet guiltily.

 

Youngjae laid down on the floor, and screamed silently into his hands for a good minute. When it was over, Jackson walked over to his seemingly lifeless body and placed a sticky note on the deceased man’s forehead.

 

“Here lies Choi Youngjae, he will be missed.” Youngjae whacked his hand away, drawing out a yelp from Jackson.

“Let’s pray that Yugyeom and Bambam pull through.” Youngjae groaned.

 

**6:45 AM T-2 Hours 45 Minutes//Got7**

 

Youngjae was passed out under the table, spending about two hours trying to memorize his lines before knocking out. Jackson’s eye had been twitching for about twenty minutes now, bags developing under his eyes as his head lulled forward every other five minutes. Mark was muttering things under his breath, and it was honestly starting to concern Jinyoung.

“You okay?” Jinyoung asked Mark, interrupting Mark's monologue to himself.

 

Mark stared at him blankly. “What?”

 

Jinyoung shook his head, brows furrowing in evident concern. “Nevermind.” He turned to whisper his worries to Jaebum, but his condition wasn’t any better.

 

Jaebum’s eyes were bloodshot, as he revised the paper for what felt like the tenth time. Jinyoung snapped his mouth shut, looking at the  clock hanging over the study room door.

 

_Where the hell are Bambam and Yugyeom?_

 

The door flung open, making everyone jolt up. “Fuck!” Youngjae screamed, hitting his head on the underside of the table. Bambam stepped in, and Jinyoung let out a horrified yell. “Bambam-ah, is that _cocaine_ on your face??? It better not be or I swear to _God--_ ”

 

Bambam rose a brow at him, licking the white powder off his lips. “Yeah, while you guys were in the library working on our project, Yugyeom and I were out doing drugs,” he rolled his eyes. “Get real, hyung.”

 

“It’s powdered sugar,” Yugyeom explained, at least looking a little bit apologetic. “From the donuts we bought…”

 

“You guys brought donuts??” Jackson asked, perking up from behind his computer screen.

 

Bambam nodded happily. “We bought two dozen!”

 

“And you ate them _all_ , Bambam.” Jackson’s shoulders slumped as he let out a pained groan.

 

Jaebum scrunched his eyebrows together, “Why?”

 

“Why what?” Bambam asked, pulling out a chair to sit in it.

 

“We sent you out to get the materials _yesterday --_ ”

 

Bambam made a face in the shape of an ‘o’, then nodded. “ _That’s_ what we forgot, Yugyeom.”

 

“WHAT!”

 

The little shit chuckled, “I’m kidding, we already made the giant dick. don’t worry about it.”

 

There was a consecutive sigh of relief from everyone in the room. “Where is it?” Jinyoung asked hesitantly.

 

“It’s in the car.” Bambam winked at Jinyoung, earning a groan of disgust from him while Jaebum placed a protective arm over Jinyoung.

 

“Why couldn’t you bring it down?” Jaebum asked.

 

Yugyeom blushed, “It’s too...big, hyung.”

 

“Why the fuck are you blushing.”

 

Yugyeom buried his face in his hands, shaking his head. “It was Bambam’s idea, he made me do it!” He cried out.

 

Jaebum and Jinyoung exchanged looks, taking Jaebum’s keys from Yugyeom to see the wretched thing. “Everyone, rehearse your parts, we don’t have that much time left.”

 

**7:15 AM T-1 Hour 15 Minutes// Jinyoung and Jaebum**

 

“Where the hell did they even park my car?” Jaebum asked, searching for his vehicle in the University parking lot.

 

“Press the alarm, maybe we can find it that way,” Jinyoung suggested. The alarm sounded off seconds later.

 

Jaebum popped open the trunk quickly.

 

“Oh my God,” Jinyoung whispered, eyes nearly rolling back in his head as he stared at the mess of a dick. “It’s...worse than I could have ever imagined.”

 

Jaebum bit his lip, holding back the tears threatening to come out of his eyes. “There’s nothing we can do to save our asses now.”

 

“What do we do??” Jinyoung asked, eyes still trained on the giant, peach-colored, venous (“Honestly, how did they even make this out of paper mache??”) thing in Jaebum’s trunk.

 

“We’re going to have to use it.”

 

“Jaebum-hyung, you cannot be serious, it’s literally like an ugly, giant dildo. I’m like, 100% sure it’s not even anatomically correct?”

 

Jaebum sighed, defeated. “We have no other option at this point.”

 

**7:30 AM T-1 Hour//Got7**

 

Jaebum and Jinyoung returned to the study room only to see five crying boys in front of them. Bambam was on his hands and knees, bowing repeatedly to a screaming Mark, who was being held back by Jackson.

 

Yugyeom was shaking underneath the table, cradling his head in his arms as he rocked back and forth. Youngjae was face down, another sticky note on his forehead which read, “ _He’s dead, I killed him._ ”

 

“We were gone for less than an hour! What the fuck happened?” Jaebum asked, voice rising high enough for the librarian to come to them and officially kick them out. Jaebum bowed his head, muttering a flurry of apologies to the woman before sending his friends a sweltering glare. _I’m going to kill you guys,_ the glare said. The rest of his group paled at the anger in Jaebum’s eyes, shrinking back while sending the librarian pleading looks with their eyes.

 

“I’m honestly surprised that didn’t happen sooner,” Youngjae commented as they cleared out the study room.

 

“Same,” they all concluded, nodding their heads in agreement.

 

“Okay, tell me you guys memorized your lines.”

 

Bambam nodded. “I get to talk about seminal glands and shit, it’ll be great.”

 

“No Bambam, that’s my slide,” Yugyeom said.

 

Bambam shut his mouth quickly, avoiding the glares he received from the older members. “It’ll be okay, I’ll just glance at the powerpoint while we’re up--”

 

“No!” They all shouted back at him as he pouted.

 

“Fine… I’ll memorize them on the way there.”

 

“Did everyone bring their business clothes for the presentation? We can change in my car.” Jaebum said as they all exited the library.

 

He looked at them, only receiving a nod from Jinyoung. “Are you serious? Only Jinyoung brought his clothes?” They all avoided his gaze, suddenly looking out the window.

 

Jackson rubbed the back of his neck, “Yeah… about that. I don’t have business clothes.”

 

The rest of them nodded in agreement, “Same, same.”

 

Jaebum wanted to tear his hair out. But he didn’t. Youngjae came up to him to give him a reassuring pat on the back. “Hyung, your hairline is already receding, don’t let this stress you out.”

 

Jinyoung coughed into his arm, stifling his laughter. Jaebum sent him a look of hurt. “It’s receding?”

 

Jinyoung grinned back at him and shrugged. “Anyway, whoever doesn’t have business suits can just borrow them from Jaebum-hyung and I. I might have a few dress shirts, just grab some black pants from your dorms.”

 

They drove back to the dorms in relative silence, all of them dispersing when they arrived.

 

Jaebum reminded them to meet back within the next thirty minutes if they wanted to get back to campus on time.

 

**7:35 AM T-55 Minutes//Mark and Jackson**

 

“So, we have about twenty-five minutes to kill, wanna play a quick game of League?” Jackson asked, flopping down onto his bed before Mark let out a sigh.

 

“Shouldn’t we be responsible for once?”

 

“Responsibility went down the drain when we agreed to take a class with all of our friends.”

 

Mark hummed. “True. Let’s do it.” They both whipped out their computers, ignoring the looming uncertainty of actually failing a class.

 

At least they’d fail together.

 

Minutes flew by until their characters died. Mark looked at the clock. “Hey, we should get ready, we have to meet outside in like ten minutes.”

Jackson nodded, “You’re right.” He sent Mark a pleased look, “See? We’re responsible.”

 

Mark agreed, pulling out the button-ups that Jinyoung had given them before they came back to their dorm.

 

He tossed one at Jackson, who caught it easily with one hand, which was rather impressive given the fact that he was putting on a pair of black slacks with the other. “Thanks, man.”

 

It was silent for a minute as they got ready for their final, until there was a certain noise that seemed to reverberate throughout the room.

 

“Shit.” Jackson squeaked.

 

Mark’s eyes widened. “Did...the shirt just rip?”

 

“Oh, _fuck._ ”

 

They spent the next few minutes trying to stitch the shirt together with various safety pins around the cloth’s wound. “Rest in pieces, Jinyoung’s shirt,” Mark said with a solemn face. Jackson tried to move around in the thing, checking himself out in the mirror. “You know, it doesn’t look too bad? Hopefully no one will look at the back--” Mark looked around their shared room letting his eyes settled to rest on the stapler on his desk. “Here I’ll just staple it to make sure it doesn’t come out.” Jackson nodded at Mark’s brilliant idea, until, of course, Jackson let out an ear-piercing scream.

 

Mark watched Jackson’s face contort in pain. “What? What’s wrong??”

 

Jackson turned around, Mark’s eyes widening in horror as he saw the specks of blood on Jackson’s back. He let out a scream. “Holy shit! Dude, you’re bleeding!”

 

“Oh my God, oh my _God_??? What the fuck?” Jackson’s face grew red as he bit his lip in pain. “Am I going to die? Fuck, I’m gonna die.”

 

Mark watched his best friend’s face go red as he gasped out for help. Tears began to well up in Mark’s eyes as well. Did he just kill his best friend? With staples?

 

(He didn’t.)

 

Jackson tore the shirt off, asking Mark to inspect his backside. Mark cringed at the staple lodged inside Jackson’s skin. “I honestly don’t know how that happened.”

 

Jackson let out a groan when Mark attempted to pinch the staple out until there were frantic knocks coming from their bathroom door.

 

“God dammit,” Jackson growled, stepping up to go answer it.

 

**7:45 AM T-45 Minutes// Yugyeom**

 

“Ahh,” Yugyeom let out a sigh of relief as he stepped into Bambam and his dorm room. “It’s nice to finally be back after so long,” he groaned.

 

He was met with silence.

 

The younger of the two eyed Bambam’s side of their dorm. “Bambam-ah, you have to get ready, the hyungs will be upset if we’re not in our clothes in like twenty minutes.”

 

More silence. He narrowed his eyes, walking around the room and even the bathroom that connected their dorm to Mark and Jackson’s next door. He knocked on his hyung’s room, only to be met with nothing but the sounds of heavy pants and stifled gasps of breath. He knocked louder, hearing them freeze up. Jackson flung the door open, hitting Yugyeom directly in the face.

 

“What is it?” Jackson asked, his face flushed incredibly red, hair tousled, and he was trying to cover the rest of his body.

 

“Uh…Am I interrupting something?”

 

“No!” Jackson replied quickly, “Nope, nothing. What’s up?”

 

Yugyeom seemed to buy this, much to Jackson’s delight. “I can’t find Bambam.”

 

Mark peeked up from behind Jackson. “What do you mean you can’t find him? You _lost_ him?”

 

Yugyeom rolled his eyes. “Oh come on, it’s not like I have a leash on him.”

 

Mark and Jackson eyed each other before they gave Yugyeom a knowing look.

 

Yugyeom blushed, beet red. “That was _one_ time--”

 

“Okay, try calling him and see what happens. Come back here if you can’t find him.” Jackson shut the door in his face before he could answer.

 

Yugyeom huffed, going back to his room to call Bambam.

 

It rang once before he picked up. _“Yo, what’s up?”_

 

“Where the fuck did you go? We have to be ready to go in less than five minutes!”

 

There’s a lot of background noise, wherever he is. Bambam seemed to be occupied talking to someone else though. _“Yeah can I get five glazed, two jelly-filled, and wait, hold on--”_ there was some shuffling going on before Bambam was talking to Yugyeom again. _“--do you want anything, Yugyeom-ah?”_

 

Yugyeom was openly weeping now. “Did you seriously go back to Krispy Kreme? _When_? How???”

 

_“Yeah, I took Hyung’s keys when he wasn’t looking.”_

 

Yugyeom saw some rope, he could off himself before his hyungs could really slaughter the two of them. “...You’re genuinely the worst. We have to leave in five minutes to make it to class on time, Bambam. Five. Minutes.”

 

_“Okay, I’ll be back in a second I’m going through the drive-thru right now.”_

 

Yugyeom sighed, “Hurry before Jaebum-hyung notices.” Yugyeom was about to hang up when a thick arm wrapped around his neck. He looks up to see his assailant. “Jaebum-hyung⏤” he laughed nervously, but it was cut off by Jaebum’s tightening grip.

 

“Notice what, Maknae?”

 

**7:48 AM T-42 Minutes// Bambam**

 

The ear-piercing scream that Yugyeom made over the line was enough to whip his ass back into shape.

 

“Yugyeom-ah _? Yugyeom??_ ”

 

There were a few noises in the background, mostly signs of struggle. He waited a few moments, before the phone was placed into someone else’s hands.

 

“ _Bambam,_ ”came the low growl of a familiar voice. “ _Get back here, right now.”_ Bambam pulled up to the second window, nodding at the person manning the station. “ _Are you listening??_ ” He promptly ignored his hyung in favor of reaching out to grab his bag filled with delicious goods.

 

“Thank you, sir!” Chirped the worker. “Have a wonderful day!”

He nodded at the worker, before giving her a blinding smile (“ _Hey! You better answer me when I’m talking to you--_ ”). And he nearly drove away, before he let out a gasp, suddenly remembering that he had forgotten to order a coffee for Jackson. “I’m sorry, but could I get an Italian roast coffee as well?”

 

 _“Are you fucking kidding--If you aren’t back by 8 o’clock sharp, I will personally wring your neck._ ”

 

Bambam laughed, waiting for the coffee at the drive-thru window. “As if your tiny hands could do that, they can barely wrap around a pencil.”

 

Dial tone.

 

He hummed, then turned to the worker to send her another smile and a few dollar bills. “Keep the change.”

 

“You sure?” The worker asked, surprised at the generosity.

 

Bambam nodded, eyes on the road as he muttered, “I have a presentation to give.”

 

**7:57 AM T-33 Minutes//Got7**

 

Jaebum slumped against his door. He was an absolute wreck. In the past day alone, he felt as if he’d aged at least ten years. (“Looks like it too,” Youngjae added unhelpfully from his bed, earning himself a sock to the face from Jinyoung.)

 

“What are we going to do?” Jinyoung asked, leaning on Jaebum’s bed as he eyed the poor guy who was seated on the floor.

 

“I’m gonna sleep. Wake me up when we’re about to leave.” Youngjae said, tossing his comforter over himself while earning a noncommittal noise from Jaebum.

 

Jaebum sighed. “All we can really do is hope that he shows up. If not, we’ll have to bike to campus-- sans paper mache dick-- and try to deliver the presentation without him until he gets there.”

 

“Maybe we should have a little more faith in Bambam, I mean, he did pull through with the 3D part. Kind of,” Jinyoung trailed off. “I mean, the giant dick is pretty awful, but he still made it.”  But he quickly corrected himself, “Forced Yugyeom to make it, actually.”

 

Jinyoung looked at his watch, nodding at Jaebum. “We should actually go if we want to make it to campus on time.” The duo walk out into their dorm complex, meeting up with the others. Jackson’s shirt was speckled with blood, and a line of safety pins were keeping the mangled shirt together.

 

Jinyoung gasped, eyes widening in pure horror. “That… is that my Egyptian cotton button up? My...Egyptian...cotton…?”

 

Jackson stuttered out, “Uh..uh.. we’ll buy you a new one, we swear.”

 

Mark let out an indignant cry, “ _We_?? You’re the one who tore it!”

 

Jinyoung’s eyes rolled back, body slumping forward until it hit the cement rather harshly.

 

Jackson winced, watching the other boys crowd around Jinyoung in evident worry. They all screamed, trying to get him to wake up.

 

“Shit!” Jaebum yelled, slapping Jinyoung’s unconscious face. “Jinyoung, Jinyoung! Wake up!” He lifted up his best friend’s body and cradled him in his arms, sobbing into Jinyoung’s chest. “Look at what this project’s done to us: It killed Jinyoung!”

 

The rest looked on in silence, wondering what the hell they could do to help. But they felt helpless, looking on at the scene in front of them.

 

Yugyeom, on the verge of tears, couldn’t help but look away from Jinyoung’s pathetic state. He looked over his shoulder and screamed. “Oh my God! He made it!”

Bambam drove toward them at full speed, pulling up right in front of them in front of their building. They all stared in shock at the absolute precision, Bambam looking unfazed, decked in a leopard-print tuxedo while eating a jelly-filled donut.

 

“Get in.”  

 

Their mouths went slack, all of them slowly hopping into the car in half shock and half amazement.

 

Jaebum got into the front seat after lifting Jinyoung into the trunk to lay next to The Dick. Bambam drove away, ignoring all of their dumbfounded faces. “How?” Jaebum asked, completely resigned.

 

Bambam only guffawed in response.

**8:05 AM T-25 Minutes// Youngjae**

 

**to furry community 8:05 am**

_hey where’d you guys go lol_

_guys??_

_did you asshats really leave without me??_

 

**8:10 AM T-20 Minutes//Got6**

 

Jinyoung’s eyes cracked open, his head pounding as he looked at his surroundings. Was he in the trunk of a van?

 

Surely he couldn’t be.

 

He turned to his left, jaw dropping a bit as he let out a pained whimper.

 

Right in front of him was the veiny thing itself. The Dick pressed up against his forehead, sticky with spray paint, smelling putrid as if it’d been pulled out of a garbage compactor and pieced together.

 

He let out a startled scream, instantly regretting it when the car jerked a bit to the side, sending him straight back into it.  Jinyoung’s mouth hit The Dick, hard. He recoiled from it, pressing a hand to his mouth to find what seemed to be a stray pube on his lip. His eyes bulged out of their sockets as he began to hyperventilate. _No. No. No. No._ “Are there actual pubes on this thing?” Jinyoung gagged.

 

“Hyung, you’re awake!” Bambam called back from the driver’s seat. Jinyoung popped his head up.

 

“Bambam, answer the question.”

 

Bambam hesitated for a beat.

 

“ _Bambam_!”

 

The younger groaned out, “Ookaay, so I used real pubes! Only to make it more realistic--”

 

“You did _what_??”

 

“I knew it would look bad without the pubes, so I thought to myself, ‘Hmm, you know what would make it look ten times better? Pubes!’ So I shaved mysel--”

 

“What the fuck dude.”

 

“Holy shit,” Jackson’s face was red, laughter coming out in choked sobs. “I can’t fucking breathe. I cannot believe you used your pubes and glued them onto our project.”

 

“We’re going to fail,” Jaebum mumbled.

 

Yugyeom’s voice piped up over the onslaught of protests from the others. “Uh...guys...Where’s Youngjae?”

 

**8:13 AM T-17 Minutes// Got6 and Youngjae**

 

They picked up a very unamused looking Youngjae after doing a complete 180 from where they were.

 

“I would say I’m surprised that you guys left me...but I’m not. Not even a little,” Youngjae huffed, stuffed in the trunk along with Jinyoung and The Dick, who Jackson nicknamed ‘Wang Jr.’ (“Get it? I’m implying that my dick is as big as --” Jackson started before he was rudely interrupted. “WE GET IT.”)

 

Bambam raced through the stoplights, dodging pedestrians as he went at least 30 miles above the speed limit.

 

Jaebum cursed, “Bambam, there’s a cop behind us. Slow down.”

 

Bambam looked at his rearview window and scoffed. “Fuck the police.”

 

Jinyoung yelled from the back, “Bambam, seriously. His lights are flashing now, you have to pull over.”

 

“I can’t.”

 

“What do you mean you can’t??” Mark asked, growing incredibly irritated. Yugyeom looked between everyone, then eyed the police car tailgating them.

 

“I don’t have a license.”

 

“ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING--”

 

**8:20 AM T-10 Minutes// Got7 and Cop**

 

Bambam stepped back into the car after a few minutes, nodding at the cop who was walking away with a dopey looking lopsided grin on his face.

 

He put the car in drive and headed toward their university. Bambam nodded his head along to the song on the radio, mouthing the words, until Jinyoung yelled. “Is anyone else going to question the fact that that cop let us go when Bambam doesn’t even have a license?”

 

“Thank God, I thought I was the only one wondering that,” Jackson sighed, relieved. The rest began to speak up, questions spilling from their mouths like litanies.

 

Bambam shrugged, “I just told him I’d suck his dick sometime. I got his number.”

 

They all went silent.

 

**8:25 AM T-5 Minutes//Got7**

 

They clambered out of Jaebum’s car and dashed to their classroom. It was just around the parking lot on upper campus. They could make it with maybe a minute to spare. Jaebum and Youngjae lifted The Dick together, just then realizing how heavy it was.

 

“Seriously, how the fuck did you make this?”

 

Bambam raised a brow, “Do you really want to know?” Yugyeom blushed, ducking his head down.

 

Jaebum’s mouth snapped shut.

 

The seven of them dashed across their campus, earning quite a few stares from passersby who looked on at The Dick with intrigued faces. Jaebum’s cheeks couldn’t help but heat up from the unwanted attention.

 

“Let’s hurry the hell up. My street cred has already been ruined in the past two minutes alone.”

 

Jinyoung choked while the others broke down in laughter. “ _What_ street cred?”

 

Jaebum huffed while Youngjae shook his head. “If only they knew about Def Soul,” Jaebum muttered.

 

They all rolled their eyes, turning a corner to the science building on campus. “We all know about Def Soul.”

 

“ _What_?? Who told you?”

 

“No time to talk now,” Jinyoung shushed him with his finger as they pulled up to their classroom. “You ready guys?”

 

They passed each other confident looks, before Jinyoung opened the door.

 

**8:30 AM T-0 Minutes// Got7 and Professor**

 

They walked into their classroom to see the professor at her podium, eyeing them rather strangely. All their other classmates that were filtering in were in normal clothes. Mark eyed them peculiarly.

 

“Looks like some people are getting docked points for not coming in business attire,” Bambam stage-whispered.

 

Their professor walked up to them. “What on Earth is that?” Her voice came like icy ripples as her eye twitched at The Dick.

 

“It’s our 3D model,” Jaebum faltered. “For the presentation.”

 

She sighed in exasperation. “The presentation that I cancelled?”

 

“ _Cancelled_?” They all chorused in response.

 

“I mentioned it in class.” She nodded. They made noises of frustration before she cut them with a _look_. “Twice.” To drive the knife deeper, she added, “I even sent an email out yesterday.”

 

Everyone promptly shut up, their noises of protests quickly dying a little bit in their throats.

 

“Hopefully you all did the paper due at 2 pm though?” She asked as her eyebrow quirked up knowingly before walking back to her podium.

 

Jinyoung turned to the rest of them, fuming. “How did none of us check our email?” They all shrugged in response.

 

“The library is still open,” Youngjae said. “We still have time to submit on our papers.”

 

And with that, the seven of them darted out of the classroom, leaving The Dick behind. (“You boys better take that thing with you!” Came the professor’s cry. They all pretended not to hear.)

 

**End//**

**Author's Note:**

> sjhfjsh this was literal crack lmfao


End file.
